This weekend I had one of the most amazing experiences of my entire life. This might seem somewhat of an over-exaggeration, but I can assure you that it is not. I had the luck of experiencing a beautiful Ecco2k and Bladee concert this weekend and it genuinely changed my life. It honestly is not something I can easily put into words but I want to try so that I can share this experience with whoever reads this. The main lesson I taught myself throughout experiencing this weekend is that the best way to live my life is by living true to myself. I often ignore parts of myself and things that make me happy so that I’m more aligned with others. That does nothing for me but keep me from doing things that would help me love the life that I am living, and this is the only life that I have the only thing I can do is love it. Coming to understanding this took a long time, but the concert this weekend thrust me into a full understanding of this concept. If the concert were to work out in any way that wasn’t exactly the way that it ended up working out, I’m not sure I would be coming to the same conclusion about my life as I have. I had to be alone and feel the crushing feeling of what that is like before I could experience true bliss so that I could understand this concept fully.
Tag: Favorite
Iβm proud of these ones!!!
Without Words
Ever since a young age, I have been burdened with extreme difficulty in “finding the words” in most if not all situations in my life. I have never been someone who had a large vocabulary or knew how to repair a conversation with others before I’m already trying to describe what I am trying to say by using vague terms and asking whoever I’m talking to if they know what I’m trying to say. Usually, the answer is either no or a suggestion of what I mean, which is typically wrong as well. This has caused me to keep what I can inside so that I don’t mess up once I attempt to let it free from my mind and through my mouth. If I have to communicate something very important with someone else, I usually will go over the many lines of dialogue I have mentally saved in my brain over the years and splice up what I have in my deposit before I have something that sounds normal enough to say. I have always been drawn to writing though, specifically typing on my computer; I’m not sure what caused that when one of my biggest insecurities is my inability to use words correctly. There is no doubt that this is going out of my comfort zone, even if the only people who usually read my posts are close friends of mine. Letting someone into this side of me that I don’t show a large majority of people that have lives intertwined with mine is terrifying to do, regardless of how comfortable I feel with the people I’m sharing this part of me with.
Universe deciding my year
Tarot reading is something I am somewhat interested in, and have been for quite some time, but it was only recently that I decided to take up the hobby myself and really get invested in the cards and their meanings. I was with a friend yesterday and she showed me that she does a yearly card reading for herself. Each of the months has one, or sometimes two, cards that represent that month as a whole. My friend told me that with certain cards, she would assume she knew what they were talking about but then something from the left field would actually happen but still relate with the meaning of the cards and she’d wish she knew that’s what they meant. Since this is a very general reading and the time spans for each of the cards are quite long it’s difficult to pinpoint exact events unless they are extremely powerful and change things greatly, which isn’t often. Because of my friend, I’ve been inspired to do my own for myself! Something I love about tarot is that the cards have a basic general meaning, but it is tweaked somehow by how the reader feels about the cards and how the art is interpreted. Without any more hold up, here are the cards that were pulled that are meant to determine the year 2022 for me!
Full of LOVE today
Happy Valentine’s Day! Today is a very important day for me. Not because anything big is happening today, but rather because the concept of Valentine’s Day means a lot to me. I am not a very open person emotionally to anyone in my life. Some might disagree with this and say that I am very open with how I’m feeling, but just because I tell people I feel bad or want to complain about something does not mean we have an emotional connection or that they understand me on a deeper level. It’s not that I don’t want to be an open person with those close to me in my life, I just can’t seem to do so naturally so it seems forced usually. It’s challenging for me to make connections with people that have any kind of worth to both of us and that last longer than half a year. While I haven’t outright asked any of my friends about their views on me or our relationship, I can assume that a lot of them don’t feel genuinely close to me. Like I said before, I might open up about what surface-level thing is bothering me or complain about something easy to complain about, but a lot of the relationships in my life lack the depth that I crave. Valentine’s Day is all about embracing that depth that you do have and it allows you to create that depth with others in your life. I would say at the moment there are probably two people in my life that I would say I have quite a close relationship with that has this sort of depth I’m describing. The difficult thing about this though, is that while I do want this kind of deep connection with others in my life, it seems as though there is a barrier holding me back from creating it with others. I’m not sure how to overcome this obstacle that’s in my way to having a fulfilling connection with others in my life. I can’t even begin to describe what is exactly involved in this barrier and why I can’t make these types of connections. This heavily contributes to how lonely I feel in a lot of my relationships, platonic or romantic.
.ΛΒ· π.Β° ｑΛπΛｑ Β°.π.Β° ｑΛπΛｑ Β°.π.Β° ｑΛπ .Λ 